Those eyes that always danced with pride at my sight were shut for good today, that warm voice that always greeted, those words that always seemed right and that happy tone despite all, were all forced to silence once and for all.
I died a little with you today aunty, when I kissed your cheek and it felt so cold against mine. I wanted to hold you and never let go. I wanted to get you an extra cover, then it dawned on me, you’re not alive. You smelled like Vicks and another scent that I don’t recognize but was soothing somehow. I know you’ve been in pain for quite some time now, that you have experienced different types of pain that have affected even your looks but it couldn’t break you nevertheless. You have always found a reason to tell a funny anecdote when you had company.
It was very crowded today 3amto, I wish you were able to see all these people because you were longing for social life lately. Your kids were standing there beside you in shock or fear but Abir wasn’t scared at all, I know you felt her hands caressing your eyebrows and nose, I know you heard her when she was whispering to you how pretty you look. I was talking to her on facebook yesterday, she said she was showing you our photos and that you miss us. I asked her to kiss you.
Death makes everyone pensive is a way, but even more than that, it leaves us helpless. I still don’t know how to deal with your death. I know I wasn’t with you most of the times but you were here, a few streets away. I just hope that death was gentle with you, it took you while you were sleeping. Sadly, it was the only thing that ended your suffering and pain. I love you now and forever.