Just when I thought I ran out of tears, another wave heavily bursts out squeezing my aching heart. I have never been comfortable with goodbyes, and when you left with sore eyes, my only concern was not to cry in front of you but rather goof around and make you laugh instead.
Now that I’m back home, your absence is haunting the house and roaming all over. I look around, no one is watching, I lie down on your bed and hug it then choke on the pillow to cover my scream. I return to my phone, review some silly videos u made, smile then cry again.
This is a vanity post, for I know you are happy where you are and it’s your choice and right to be there with the person you love. I just pity myself without you. It’s true you’ll be back for visits but it won’t be the “You” I’m grieving now. It’s going to be a new “You”, with different worries and style, an older you as it strikes me today that 25 years together are now behind us.
I gained a brother, it’s true but I also lost a sister. He’s good to you, I know and this is the only pain killer I’m using for the time being. Time heals all wounds they say, but your absence is the hardest thing that I ever had to face in my life and I have to get used to it and go on.
“3a slema Nuna… Twa7ashtek bezzaf”….