Date a girl who reads…

One of the best emails I’ve received:

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books
instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has
too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read,
who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will
always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking
over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when
she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the
pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader.
They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the
street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is
floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a
world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as
most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she
likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through
the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she
understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound
intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday,
for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in
poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her
know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she
knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going
to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never
be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need
to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance,
dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up
to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come
to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again
and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain
or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read
understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at
2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea
and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will
always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book
are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or
very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and
bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your
lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will
introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the
same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she
will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who
can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give
her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re
better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date
a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

– Rosemary Urquico

About Ymn

انا المرأة الزوبعة فقل للنخيل يطأطئ حتى أمرّ
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